Showing posts with label weddings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weddings. Show all posts

Friday, 10 January 2014

Marriage in the Year 2013

I’m a bit late with this blog post but…no excuses

I look back on this side of 2013 with serious fondness. It was a fantastic year…

2 weddings…

In the sticky heat of July 2013, I squeezed my post pregnancy belly and bells into my bridesmaid dress and donned what felt like 12 inch heels down the shiny slippery aisle.  I was at the wedding of my longest serving friend and his beautiful, equally as kind and deserving bride; I couldn’t be happier.  It was my turn to serve them; both bride and groom had been faithful through celebrations and tribulations, endless phone calls, texts, tweets and emails. 

When you get married, you inherit friendships.  These friendships go through a redefinition process that doesn’t always end up profitable.  Some friendships cannot bear the weight of another significant other.  The new beau is seen more as a threat than an asset to a friendship.  This becomes even more complicated when that person is of the opposite sex.  People are forced to make tricky decisions to ditch friendships or new beaus.  More often than not, the friend is the one left standing with broken heart and a mouth filled with venomous rumours.  A broken friendship is just as a vicious as a friendship based on pretence. 

Fortunately in my case, my beloved and I didn’t have that problem.  We were privileged enough to be able to blend with each other’s friendships.  His friends adopted me as their kid sister and my friends as an elder brother.  And in 2013 he was part of my friend’s’ wedding and I was part of his friend’s’ wedding, Yet again, I squeezed my post pregnancy self into a lovely blue number in the August heat.  Beloved rolled up his sleeves and served drinks and I kicked off my stilettos to assist the wedding decorators.  We did this all in the name of service, friendship and love.  For friendship that transcends distance and time, I’m grateful. 

0…

There were lots of ‘zero’s’ I was grateful for in 2013…

There were zero visits to lawyers.  There were zero immediate family burials.  There were zero diagnosis of terminal illnesses.  There were zero financial emergencies; no visits from bailiffs, no threatening eviction letters.  There were zero reasons to be ungrateful.  Yes, there were times when we had to raid our piggy banks but, after years of dealing with times of plenty and times of little, I’ve learned to be contented…no matter what.

1 funeral...

Towards the end of September, I attended the funeral of a very dear teacher.  She was my primary school teacher who had inspired me and had shaped my life.  Mrs Ekeowa was fiercely Nigerian and she loved Jesus.  They say that you always remember a good teacher and the essence of who she was never left me.  I can’t remember the content of her lessons but, I can never forget the context with which she taught.  She believed strongly that every child could learn and every child should achieve. She was bold and fearless, confronting you with whatever she felt she needed to say.  I remember her terrorising children with combs if they hadn’t combed their hair or teaching us East London kids what lychees were.  She somehow had the perfect balance of authority to scare you but, so much warmth and love to draw you close.  I remember parents praying that you were in her class for Y6. 

As I sat in that Church, listening to the humorous stories about things she had said, my heart was full of regret. This last time I saw her was on my wedding day, five years ago.  I’d meant to call her to share my journey to becoming a teacher and a mother.  I wanted to introduce my son to her.  I’d wanted to sit at her feet, like I did when I was child, to catch the words of wisdom that would so easily tumble out of her mouth.  I never did.  It was the classic ‘shoulda, woulda coulda’.  I realised in those moments that life was far too precious and short to procrastinate showing love.  Why put off calling someone to encourage them or texting someone to say hi. With the sheer amount of technology that’s around today, isn’t pitiful for us to procrastinate?  I left the funeral that day with a new resolve, love doesn’t have to wait.  Mrs Ekeowa, even from your rest, you were still teaching me.

3 grand babies...

This was a bountiful year for our family in the breeding department.  We welcomed three grandchildren into the family, one of which was our own little prince. For some of you who have been following my blog, you will know that this has been a challenging journey for my beloved and I. We’ve experienced a lot of random diagnosis complete with the Hollywood style shaking of the head from doctors.  We’ve also had the pleasure of dodging baby questions with cliché answers like ‘in God’s time’ and we’ve even entertained a few moments of absolute despair. We’ve kissed ourselves goodbye before I had two surgeries and we’ve both had the absolute pleasure of hearing our child take his first gulp of air.  I’m grateful that we’ve come out of it together.  The journey of trying to conceive can be so treacherous and all consuming, drying out the love and living nothing behind.  I learned it’s important not to play the blame game because even when your little one comes along – who wants guilt hanging over their heads? Love is the best environment for any child to grow and develop. Love is the only environment a marriage can grow and develop.

I’m grateful for 2013 and I’m expectant for 2014. I hope that I’ll be looking at the 2 beautiful marriages without nostalgic feelings of their better pre wedding days, 0 reasons or excuses not to show love, 1 new mindset instead of several new resolutions and my delivery of the 4th grandbaby. 


Monday, 5 December 2011

Marriage in the Year 2011



Marriage in the Year 2011

2 weddings, 0 babies, 1 close call,

1 new mindset ...

So, this year has been a learning one, I have been schooled and come full circle.

2 weddings…

There are times in our lives when marriage hits our friendship groups like dominoes, one by one, each one topples over under it’s overwhelming pulling gravity. That’s the season, I’ve been in – the wedding one, where the air is electrified with sizzles of bells cracking. From the ones that loved so much it warmed the heart to watch, to those whose love seemed as natural as breathing… I’ve seen it all this year. And in those quiet special moments; when the beloveds are making their vows, that’s when I start to reflect on what love is, what it has been and what the future holds.
Much is said about the future at weddings. There are wishes, hopes, dreams and prayers, painting a glorious lifetime ahead, framing the couple cooing in love accented with their children laughing. The groom speaks of the love that brought them to that point, laced with funny anecdotes. Countless extended relatives speak of the offspring they want to carry. And the bride…she sits in all her beauty soaking it all in, sometimes brought to tears by the beauty of the picture she is seeing. The future is bright as the shine in her eyes and she just can’t wait to get started…

0 babies…

I have been a size 6/8 for all of my life now… ok slight exaggeration (I have been a size 12 before – Uni stress soon stripped me of that). I’ve always been quietly proud of my non ‘body magic’ needing, non ‘girdle’ wearing, non ‘dieting’, speed of light rate of metabolism self. I have always been able to quietly smile at the Big Mac, Super Large Fries, Apple Pie and Strawberry Sundae. Diet Coke? A full fat carbonated drink, please. I’ve not suffered the ‘honeymoon hips and flabby bits’, jeans fit the same way, pre wedding wardrobe still fits post 3rd honeymoon. Even though this would bring joy to many, if I’m completely honest, I’ve never pitied my slightly spaghetti shaped body more.
I’ve stared at pregnant women, longing for the roundness of their tummys. Picturing myself a little puffier in the cheeks, rounder faced, fuller hips. I’ve subjected my duck feather filled pillows to forming the shape of my bump and then soaked it with my angry tears.

I started my marriage full of prayers and expectations, without a doubt I’ll be round soon. This year though, I struggled to keep my hope alive when month after month resulted in nothing a Coke Zero. It’s more difficult when any slight illness, yawn, ‘glow’, ‘food baby’ is greeted with excited questions ‘could it be?’

‘You tell me!’ is what I want to say but, I smile it off with a tactical change of subject or prayer request. Why is it that such babymongers only prey on the women, as if an egg fertilises itself! Aren’t they aware that as a Nigerian woman – an African woman at that, it is constantly wavering over my head. Like Ally McBeal, it’s like little children are taunting me, only these ones do the Dbanj Oliver dance, begging me to be born. And I know that to many I sound like a perfect candidate for a petrol doused deliverance service but, to many I am saying the thoughts that they dare not say but their at times force them to feel.

1 close call…

Sprinklings of ‘it will come in time’, lightly laced with ‘you just need to relax’, from people whose hearts care but minds revert to the standard Christianese answer. Negative medical experiences, monthly disappointments, hopeless diagnoses, marital strain; all simply a recipe for deepest darkness. That was me at some point this year; so low that I knew if I slipped a little further, I would lose the core of who I was.
A melting pot of questions; what happens when the picture you have for your marriage – darkens and disappears into nothing? What happens when what you want no longer mirrors what you desired? Fear - a very scary place to be. A complete contrast to that day of ivory, this picture frame was not bright like Orange. I thought we’d come to the end of our contract, talktime was running low and neither one of us were willing to stick to the price plan, too proud to bend.

Things weren’t the same, we both knew it. One night, red eyed, with nothing left to criticise; no more insults to throw, no more resentful sarcastic comebacks, no more energy to deliver silent treatments. We had nothing left but a drop of strength enough to utter a few words of prayer. Hate to sound cliché but we literally got through the turbulence on those desperate prayers. It was Christ who brought us together – literally. We realised that we’d strayed so far from the core of what brought us together, so far, that we no longer made sense.

1 full circle…

For some reading what I am saying won’t make any sense. Maybe for you, it’s not Christ; it’s your common interests, shared hobby, similar personalities, same thinking or sense of humour. The truth is that it doesn’t matter what it is; if you lose that core that brought you both together, you lose each other and yourself in the process. The key is to be honest – recognise it and work through it. No one knows the truth better than you and your beloved. Life is too precious to spend a lifetime in a make believe world, Avatar is a film – not a reality. The only thing that is blue in this life is the sky.

To all those who have been on this baby making journey and are on this journey – I salute you. I know that my journey doesn’t equate to even half of what some of you have been through. I look forward to exchanging play dates with you. To my darling family and friends with expanding families, I look forward to my babysitting shifts.

Here’s to 2012: too many babies for our arms to contain, no divorces, one goodbye to a forever newlywed in waiting and too many reasons to love and thank God.