I’m a bit late
with this blog post but…no excuses
I look back on this side of 2013 with serious fondness.
It was a fantastic year…
2 weddings…
In the sticky heat of July 2013, I squeezed my post
pregnancy belly and bells into my bridesmaid dress and donned what felt like 12
inch heels down the shiny slippery aisle.
I was at the wedding of my longest serving friend and his beautiful,
equally as kind and deserving bride; I couldn’t be happier. It was my turn to serve them; both bride and
groom had been faithful through celebrations and tribulations, endless phone
calls, texts, tweets and emails.
When you get married, you inherit friendships. These friendships go through a redefinition
process that doesn’t always end up profitable.
Some friendships cannot bear the weight of another significant
other. The new beau is seen more as a
threat than an asset to a friendship.
This becomes even more complicated when that person is of the opposite
sex. People are forced to make tricky decisions
to ditch friendships or new beaus. More
often than not, the friend is the one left standing with broken heart and a
mouth filled with venomous rumours. A
broken friendship is just as a vicious as a friendship based on pretence.
Fortunately in my case, my beloved and I didn’t have that
problem. We were privileged enough to be
able to blend with each other’s friendships.
His friends adopted me as their kid sister and my friends as an elder
brother. And in 2013 he was part of my
friend’s’ wedding and I was part of his friend’s’ wedding, Yet again, I
squeezed my post pregnancy self into a lovely blue number in the August heat. Beloved rolled up his sleeves and served
drinks and I kicked off my stilettos to assist the wedding decorators. We did this all in the name of service,
friendship and love. For friendship that
transcends distance and time, I’m grateful.
0…
There were lots of ‘zero’s’ I was grateful for in 2013…
There were zero
visits to lawyers. There were zero
immediate family burials. There were
zero diagnosis of terminal illnesses.
There were zero financial emergencies; no visits from bailiffs, no threatening
eviction letters. There were zero
reasons to be ungrateful. Yes, there
were times when we had to raid our piggy banks but, after years of dealing with
times of plenty and times of little, I’ve learned to be contented…no matter
what.
1 funeral...
Towards the end of September, I attended the funeral of a
very dear teacher. She was my primary
school teacher who had inspired me and had shaped my life. Mrs Ekeowa was fiercely Nigerian and she
loved Jesus. They say that you always
remember a good teacher and the essence of who she was never left me. I can’t remember the content of her lessons
but, I can never forget the context with which she taught. She believed strongly that every child could
learn and every child should achieve. She was bold and fearless, confronting
you with whatever she felt she needed to say.
I remember her terrorising children with combs if they hadn’t combed
their hair or teaching us East London kids what lychees were. She somehow had the perfect balance of
authority to scare you but, so much warmth and love to draw you close. I remember parents praying that you were in
her class for Y6.
As I sat in that Church, listening to the humorous
stories about things she had said, my heart was full of regret. This last time
I saw her was on my wedding day, five years ago. I’d meant to call her to share my journey to
becoming a teacher and a mother. I wanted
to introduce my son to her. I’d wanted
to sit at her feet, like I did when I was child, to catch the words of wisdom
that would so easily tumble out of her mouth.
I never did. It was the classic
‘shoulda, woulda coulda’. I realised in
those moments that life was far too precious and short to procrastinate showing
love. Why put off calling someone to
encourage them or texting someone to say hi. With the sheer amount of
technology that’s around today, isn’t pitiful for us to procrastinate? I left the funeral that day with a new
resolve, love doesn’t have to wait. Mrs
Ekeowa, even from your rest, you were still teaching me.
3 grand babies...
This was a bountiful year for our family in the breeding
department. We welcomed three
grandchildren into the family, one of which was our own little prince. For some
of you who have been following my blog, you will know that this has been a
challenging journey for my beloved and I. We’ve experienced a lot of random
diagnosis complete with the Hollywood style shaking of the head from
doctors. We’ve also had the pleasure of
dodging baby questions with cliché answers like ‘in God’s time’ and we’ve even
entertained a few moments of absolute despair. We’ve kissed ourselves goodbye
before I had two surgeries and we’ve both had the absolute pleasure of hearing
our child take his first gulp of air.
I’m grateful that we’ve come out of it together. The journey of trying to conceive can be so treacherous
and all consuming, drying out the love and living nothing behind. I learned it’s important not to play the
blame game because even when your little one comes along – who wants guilt
hanging over their heads? Love is the best environment for any child to grow
and develop. Love is the only environment a marriage can grow and develop.
I’m grateful for 2013 and I’m expectant for 2014. I hope
that I’ll be looking at the 2 beautiful marriages without nostalgic feelings of
their better pre wedding days, 0 reasons or excuses not to show love, 1 new
mindset instead of several new resolutions and my delivery of the 4th
grandbaby.
